Random Thoughts

I am not perfect. I may strive for it, yearn for it, even dream of it, but I know I am not, in fact I never will be… Otherwise there would be no need for God to mold me.

I am independent…or at least I like to think I am and do my best to be so. Yet I appreciate help, even with the small things. I am just not good at asking for it or accepting it. If it appears that I’ve got it all, it’s probably because you aren’t seeing right…

I am woman, proud to be. And when it has not been comfortable or even favourable, I have not wished to be a man. To be able to read his mind, definitely (but then again, if I were to have a super power it wouldn’t be to read a man’s mind..it would be to read every human’s mind)

I cry, yes I do…more often than you may imagine. I lose my cool too. I sweat, I have bad hair days(or even weeks). I hate shopping and I am terrible at small talk. I am not always kind, patience is still an area of growth… This doesn’t make me evil, just another human. I speak my mind, this I am trying to stop because I realised recently that that part of my mind does not remember to go through a few filters…

I love my country, unapologetically. Some may say a bit too much, which to me doesn’t really register. What is too much when it comes to love? I respect people who love their countries, because I believe that it is when we love that we give our very best and our nations deserve that.

I own my flaws, because without them I would have missed the lessons I have had to learn. I would be less tolerant of them in others… I would forget that I am a work in progress. Do not take this for humility, it is more about accepting reality.

Sometimes I am smart, sometimes I am clueless. There are days I excel, and those I barely get a ‘pass’..sometimes it’s all in the same day.

I am old, I am young, I am ageless…depends on who is looking and why.
I am many things, I am not many things. But you will not know if you sum it all up in assumptions, prejudices and conclusions.
You cannot know the whole story if you read just a page of the first book in a series.

Just like I have realised and have to admit that because I do not listen well(or sometimes at all), because I assume a lot, and sometimes blind to what is obvious to many others, I am sure to miss some important things about you.

I may miss the sad look in your eyes, or the glint when you get good news. I may be too busy running to notice you aren’t by my side. I may not pick up the phone or take days to respond to texts. I may not say/show I care…but sometimes I do. And sometimes I don’t.

So next time, if it’s important to you for me to stop and listen… Stop me. If I forget, remind me. If I run too fast, slow me down. If you have a question, ask. Because no matter how much I wish for it, I am still far from gifted with reading minds, or body language for that matter. So..please do use your words.