HEY! Are you still there? I didn’t realise just how much of a toll this year has taken on so many of us, and specifically on me, until I decided to read a few of my journal entries from the past months. Weh!! And yet, even as I did, I also realised that there were times, seasons, and things in the past which I considered as the most difficult and now look back on and have to admit I didn’t know then just how much harder things could be. On such days, when I find myself stuck, overwhelmed, or even just lost, I try out something I picked from a Kenyan blogger (This is Ess) a few years ago. She called it “Taking stock” and I consider it as one of those opportunities to stop and smell the coffee (or flowers depending on what your smell sensibilities prefer). So yes, let’s take stock of what I am up to today.
Making: Up for lost time. Or should I say for a dangerous bad habit called procrastination! One of the decisions I made at the end of last year was to join the Fearless Institute this year. Then Covid-19 happened and everything, including the classes went online and my self-discipline went into quarantine, somewhere away from me. It is now a few weeks to graduation, and after battling the unending temptation and justification to quit, I find myself facing a huge mountain of incomplete assignments, a half written book, and so many other internal battles. But this year is my year of seeing my commitments through so I have to see this through. I also know, that if I don’t do this now, chances of me finishing up these things later, ie next year, are slim to none. Wish me luck!
Eating: an apple that was part of my breakfast, although it is now lunch time (have never understood who set those times for when people should have meals… shouldn’t my tummy and taste buds be the board for this? If we want cereal at 1pm then cereal is lunch, right?). A typical example of my bad eating habits. I prefer to eat my meals in phases. I am skipping lunch because I am finally writing and I fear that if I stop I may lose the high I seem to be on. Plus, I am not hungry thanks to a late breakfast which I did not really finish and I am finishing now. I really wonder how my mother put up with this all my life.
Drinking: Tea. Black. My go to drink as I keep away from my coffee and cocacola addiction, and rationalization for not drinking water (the tea is like 90% made up of water, no? The tea leaves and sugar just make it easier and more fun to drink. I really don’t understand those who enjoy drinking water, I tend to view them as some mystical beings. I find that while I can finish 8 glasses of tea a day (and more), I can barely finish one of water..and yes, I have tried adding lemon, mint, etc to the water. For what it’s worth, drinking more water is on my daily to do list.
Wearing: some comfortable slacks. On a Wednesday afternoon! Before this year, if someone had suggested that I would be wearing lounge clothes on any other days except for weekends or annual leave, I would have laughed at them. I have also been awakened to how my wardrobe was not set up for long stints in the house. But my love for pajamas has been solidified, so much so I believe we have redefined our relationship, renewed our vows, and reignited the spark that once was. Btw, have you tried taking a nice shower in the morning, changing your beddings, wearing clean pajamas, and getting back in bed with a cup of coffee and a book? No? Pleasure my dear, can be simple. Try it out, let me know.
Wanting: A week long, paid, guilt free holiday. I am exhausted, mostly from running all over the place in my own mind. The kind of exhausted that a long nap may not help at all. I could go as far as to say I am soul exhausted. This comes with side effects of constantly feeling like you are in slow motion during a sprint.
Listening to: Tasha Cobb’s recent single, Royalty. I love this song! Heard it for the very first time ever this past Sunday at church and it has been on replay since. I feel that this has been my spirit’s meditation these last 2 months, as I am reminded that first and foremost I am God’s child. Simple yet powerful. Are you, like me, amazed at the power that music carries?
Belinda K 